In our membership group recently, one of our members, let’s call her Isabella, expressed to the group that she was struggling with something. A few years ago she had a negative experience with a service provider that impacted her finances and left her without product that she needed.
Years had passed and she was still in back and forth conversation with this person, struggling to let go, hoping to get back some of what she lost. This was especially the case because the service provider was apologetic, making the ongoing conversation feel hopeful.
Isabella was struggling. Does keep the conversation going, trying to get back all that is owed to her or does she let it go and move on?
My advice: move on.
Accept it as a hard lesson learned and let it go.
I understand that whether we’re talking about a couple of years or a couple of months, when things like this happen, we tend to dig our heels in and want what’s fair. I get it, I’ve done it myself.
Whether we’re talking about paid-for samples that never arrive or lent product for photo shoots that is never returned, these things cost us money and as indpendnt businesses, there is usually no wiggle room for things like this. It’s infuriating and often crushing.
But there’s something you need to think about.
It’s important, as you grow your business, to be aware of the emotional cost of things.
When you’re spending time thinking about and stressing over things that you can’t really do anything about it’s costing you something in your business, whether you realize it or not. Emotional cost is a real thing, and it can have more negative impact on your business that monetary cost.
Just the other day I found myself spending 35 minutes talking about something that someone did that was very unprofessional and impacted my business. Instead of accepting it and moving on, I was wasting even more of my time and energy (two precious commodities for business owners) on thinking about it and talking about it to a member of my team (therefore wasting his time too).
I spent so much energy on this that, upon realizing that was the case, I actually felt embarrassed. I said to myself “stop”. There’s nothing to be done. Move on.
As you can see, this is a practice that we all need to try and get good at. I am still trying to get better at being aware of the emotional costs of things in business. It’s not easy for me, but I’m learning.
So my hope is that if you see yourself reflected in this story, you’ll also try to stop and move on, reminding yourself of the emotional cost, and saving yourself the stress of it all.
Lots of love and encouragement,