Fashion Business Owner Musings: Why is it So Hard to Accept Help?

startup fashion business owner musings

Does anyone besides me find it incredibly difficult to accept help when it’s offered? Am I the only stubborn asshole who says “No, thanks, I’m fine.” when a friend, colleague, or life partner offers to take care of something?

I am fortunate to have some really incredible people in my life. People who love me, support me, and want to help me when things seem to be piling up and life and work are this giant, tangled mess of a situation. But for whatever reason, I cannot seem to accept help when it’s offered to me. At least not at first. It takes those closest to me to push a little (sometimes more than a little), to get me to say “yes, thank you.”

Do you do this, too?

Why do we do this?!

Perfectionists? Overachievers? Independent to a fault? I’m goin’ with all three.

Well, regardless of the reason, there’s a little secret I want to let you in on.

You don’t have to do this all by yourself!

Novel, I know. But honestly, why are we putting so much pressure on ourselves to do this all by our lonesome? It’s so silly.

Actually, it’s really stupid.

Honestly, from a business standpoint, not accepting proffered help is probably the fastest path to burn out that there is.

I don’t care what anyone says, we all need help. Absolutely no one has built anything successful without the help of others. No one.

When it comes to building a business, there is just far too much to do to do it alone. Whether we need a supportive circle of people who are going through the same thing to listen to us, or we need someone to help us actually get the work done, or we need feedback and opinions and guidance  from someone with more experience, it all falls under the umbrella of help. And we all need it.

As the months (and years) go by, I’ve tried to get better at accepting the generous help of others. I’ve acknowledged that while this business is my baby and I, more than anyone else, wants to see it grow and prosper, the help of other people is imperative to reaching my goals. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

We, as business owners, need to get better at allowing others in; we need to get better at letting them be a part of what we’re doing.

It doesn’t make us weak, or stupid, or incapable. It doesn’t make our successes any less impressive or our failures any worse to deal with.

In fact, it makes our successes all that more exciting because we have people to celebrate with who understand all that went into building them. And it makes our failures a little easier to handle because we have people who know how hard we worked and remind us that failures are nothing more than opportunities to learn.

So the next time someone offers you help with your business — whatever form that comes in — try to simply say “Yes, Thank You.” Then pay attention to how good that feels so you’ll say it next time too.

All my love and encouragement,

-Nicole
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Nicole Giordano
Nicole

Nicole is the founder of StartUp FASHION, an online community and support system for independent designers around the world. She’s a traveler, a weaver, and a foodie. A deep love for the craft of fashion pared with an adamant belief that success is defined by the individual, led her to found StartUp FASHION were she helps independent designers and makers screw the traditional fashion business rules, create their own paths, and build businesses they truly love. More than anything else, she’s in the business of encouragement and works every day to remind makers and designers that they have something special to offer the world and that they can, in fact, do this thing!

1 Comment
  1. Avatar
    Lukas

    Hello Nicole,

    So right, but still so difficult. Since two years I help intrapreneurs recruit and build strong teams, but when it comes to my own business…

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